Don’t burn out, burn bright

As this year draws to a close, I’m taking comfort in making NO New Year's resolutions. Why? Who knows when and how they will get done – and that’s not a morbid representation, but an accurate one. So, this blog post is imploring you to do the same, be you, as you are now. In this strange time, you don't need to change

A new year usually means the attempt at a new start: #NewYearNewMe; new haircut booked in, maybe a new wardrobe purchased in the Boxing Day sales, new year’s resolutions intact with a hope for new beginnings. Oh, 2019 us had so much optimism for greatness in 2020. But of course, we all know what happened next: the pandemic completely shot any attempt at a “new year, new me” mentality.

In fact, this time around it will be 'new year, same old shit that happened last year because we’re stuck in the same old flat/house/bedroom/clothes/pants/socks that we have been in for the last 10 months mentality. And without sounding too much of a deflated NYE balloon, I am very much looking forward to not having any lifechanging resolutions that are so far past my eyeline that I can’t even see the line, the line is a complete and utter pinpoint of a dot to me (kudos if you get the reference, we can be best friends. I watched all 10 seasons during lockdown, and I’m not sorry.)

The norm

For as long as I can remember, I (like the majority of the world) have theoretically planned out four or five goals to complete in the new year with the determination that this year, they will be met, that this year will be my year. I will lose those extra pounds, I will finally become an ‘adult’, I will find my dream job, I will perfect my curling routine, I will stop being a pushover; the list could go on, but they are created only to be met with possible disappointment by the following New Year’s Eve and none of the list you concocted have not been resolved.

So, this year I am completely chucking the notion of a new year’s resolution out the window and replacing it with continuing to do my best and just be happy with what I already have because, let’s face it, it will be just another night and another morning with no special build up and no celebration. And that is something I find extremely comforting. I am not going to have to prove myself to me. I will not have to live up to the expectation my past-self had for my future and now current-self. And, most importantly, I will not have a god-awful, age-defying hangover the next morning – though I will miss celebrating with those I love dearly – that will be sorely missed.

But no, instead, I am going to revel in what I already have as that is exactly what this year has proven we must be grateful for – family (though we can’t see them), friends (though we can’t hug them …. Or drink, eat, be with them), time to ourselves – because we all need some me-time and though we’ve probably had well enough of it by now, there’s something so sweet in having that ‘me-time.’ This is something so wonderful that, before, I never gave time to. I am happy to get on board with the realisation of what the simple things in our life are and that they are actually pretty great. This is the year we’ve discovered what we (actually) love and hate, who we love and hate and that this strong feeling is entirely valid and that we do not need to change.

What 2020 gave us

Over the last 10 months (pre-realisation that being locked-down isn’t all bad), we have all beaten ourselves up mentally about not being creatively challenged, or even being productive – and you know that you have at one stage or another. For me, with a songwriting undergrad, many a song was attempted and many a song was binned – it has been bloody hard this year.

But you know what, THAT IS OK. Now, I am okay to accept that this year has thrown us into a whirlwind of a shitstorm that we have been forced to weather and our only protection is to let nature take its toll – whilst keeping two metres, wearing masks and staying at home, of course.

But my plans for next year? In the words of Phoebe Buffay, "I don’t even have a pla..." – but I am taking great comfort in that fact. It means I will not be disappointed when the hundreds of plans I had for this year to be the greatest it could ever be fall through. This year has been a marathon already, I think I’m ready to relish in the lack of planning for next year. Lack of planning means that I am ready for life to throw anything my way – with what we’ve been through this year, I think we can all agree, we’re a tad stronger than we thought last New Year. You don’t need the added pressure of a new year’s resolution either. In this stressful, unwarranted, unwanted time, it may be easy to burn out. So, find comfort in planning nothing (because who knows what this year will bring) and as my wonderful mother tells me, "don't burn out... burn bright."